Depending on which calendar you’re using (I prefer the Julian), it’s likely a bit late in the game to start publicizing one’s running tab of life events, oddities and anecdotes; I submit that I may already be well behind the curve on this one.  Less than a year hence (were the Mayans/Hollywood/the Tea Party to be taken at their word), the planet may in fact spontaneously break apart under the crushing weight of pro sports lockouts (where the rich can’t decide who deserves to be richer), dinosaur flatulence (the true cause of global warming), and state constitutional amendments (which can be circumvented as long as one of the partners gets a sex change, right?), all wisdom herein, lost.  With that in mind..

 

WARNING: Some “posts” may contain egregious amounts of characters (occasionally numbering in the thousands!), full sentences with punctuation, and proper grammar (occasional liberties taken); they may also delve into taboo topics such as historical events, intellectual pursuits, and things that are otherwise replete of entertainment value for anyone under the age of 50.  All photos will be viewable only in standard 2-D and will not be tagged (cue collective groans of Facebook junkies).  At times said posts may be filtered through a Twitter translator to remove the chaff from any musings or proselytizations, omit large numbers of byte-hogging vowels/commas/compound modifiers, replace them with unnecessarily repetitive consonants, and spell words phonetically to make them easier to read, with the overall aim of making the material efficient enough for mass consumption.

 

Twit Translation: wazup ppl i has blg <3!!  RT @somebody #OMG